May 6, 2003

I was having a beer at a local bar, in downtown Miami. It was around 11 pm on a Saturday night and people were starting to come in. I must confess: I do enjoy spending a few hours in a busy bar, watching people interact, the rising energy of those who have come in to have a good time! The babes. You know what I mean. (Yes, I know. I am a sad so and so!)

I often find myself attempting to work out the ins and outs of people's relationship, what they do for a living, where they live, what they say to each other, how they fuck etc. and so I was lost in my fantasy world when in came this very handsome couple, the woman and absolute bitch of a babe equipped with all the trimmings and the man, well groomed, seemingly fit both looking confident and self assured.

And as I watched them make their way inside the bar, I was startled to realized that they were heading in my direction, not to be with me, but to occupy the 2 empty chairs right next to me. This promised to be an interesting night.

The woman sat herself next to me, (on my right) not even looking at me in the process(Funny who we, human beings, creatures of the planet communication know who to absolutely ignore each other, whilst at the same time being so close that we can actually touch, but I guess that's a different story!) whilst the boyfriend made absolutely sure that everyone around knew he was the Babe Master!

After the brouhaha of initial arrival, things settled back into the noise, and I thought that was the end of it when I noticed that the guy was actually eying another woman, sat by the bar, a couple of chairs on my left. If he had dreamed that his Babe was going to sit there, without a word, he was going to awake so some much harsher reality! Boy. was I in for some threat!

The Babe: "What the fuck are you doing!"

Him: "Nothing! Why?"

The Babe: "Don't fucking lie to me. Do you fucking want me to ask her fucking phone number?

(She obviously had a thing about fucking)

Him: "Don't be ridiculous!"

The Babe: "Ridiculous! You fuck! And you think you are going to impress her with your RI-DI-CU-LOUS dick?"

(She had pronounced the word ridiculous one syllable at the time, lauder then the rest of the sentence, and if the woman he had looked at had not realized what was taking place, she sure did now.)

The Babe, leaning over me to grab the other woman attention: "Excuse me. My boyfriend here wants to buy you a drink!"

(The woman whom I had not really noticed before was now looking at my neighbor with an ironic smile on her face.)

The woman: "Seems like the only thing he CAN offer me is a drink, isn't it?"

(She was willing to play. I was in heaven, sat as I was right in the middle.)

The Babe: "You can say that again"

(And with that, she raised her hand curling all fingers but for her index and her thumb which she had positioned an inch or so from each other.)

The Babe.. with a devilish smile that had my own Mr. Dick up and going, pulsating to a comprehensive hard on: "That big!"

(and then, motioning her with a slight head movement.) "Come over"

Now there is something pathetic about small dick's fantasies. I guess it goes all the way back to when men were babies and little boys, and were getting scorned by they mothers. Whatever it is, I had never understood what on earth would possess a man to actually encourage a woman to ridicule the size of his dick, making him useless a a man, and I guess it is not a fantasy that will turn me on any time soon.. However, there is something in the fact that the woman actually says it, which I found extraordinarily sexy, and which got me going that night.

The woman stood up, dragged her chair towards the couple and sat herself in between the Babe and the Mr. Small Dick.

The woman , leaning towards the babe, and looking right at me! "Tell me more about his small dick!"

And then ensued the most erotic conversation, between those two babes about the size of one of the babes' boyfriend dick, a discussion during which my own Mr. Dick was having one of his biggest performance, a fact which had not gone unnoticed by either to the women.

Nothing happened between them and I that night, or any other night, other then the realization that I was listening into their conversation, and enjoying every word they said.

It was indeed a memorable conversation, one that I have lived and relived through various phone sex calls.

Mr. Phone Sex